The End

23 more school days and I will no longer be in high school, probably one of the most bittersweet feelings of my life so far. I am so ready to graduate and be done with all the petty-ness of high school but leaving most of my friends is going to be awful. To think that I will lose touch with a majority of the people I know is unreal. Only a few of my really close friends might possibly go to WKU with me but other than that everyone is splitting up. I am excited to make new friends, but it is hard to say goodbye. I know that I will see them again during breaks or if I come home at the same time as them and things like that, but I am still going to cry a lot. However, I could not be more excited about going to college and starting a new era of my life, one that some people say is the best time of my life. I just have to get though these last few weeks of school and then I am free, which is much easier said than done. I feel no motivation at all to do anything in school, but I just have to keep pushing.

child abuse book #4

My third and final outside reading book is the non-fiction one and, this may be morbid, but it is my favorite one so far. Most people think that it is weird that I chose child abuse as my topic, because it is not an enjoyable topic to talk about but I actually (not sure how to put this without sounding crazy) love reading about it. I find child abuse absolutely discussing and I don’t see how anyone could hurt his or her own child. But the reason that I like reading about it is because it is so inspiring to me how the kids manage to go through it. Obviously some of them can’t and some of them fail but the stories of the ones that do are truly amazing. The one that I am currently ready, although I’m not very far, is extremely heart breaking and gross. I will read exerts of it out loud to whoever happens to be around and they get freaked out and wonder why I would read something like that, or choose it for my topic. I think the main reason I like reading about depressing and awful things is because I actually stay interested and don’t get bored. I know that it is weird and that I am weird, but I am glad I chose the topic I did.

poems

This is very painful for me to say but I somewhat, kind of, sort of, enjoy some of the poems that we read. Don’t get me wrong, I still hate poetry, but I have learned that some of the stories behind the poems are really actually good. What frustrates me is the fact that they say it in such a complicated way. Some of the poems are easy and fun to read, but the ones that I have no idea what they are saying, are torturous. I understand that some of the poems are “beautiful” in that way that they are written, but I honestly could care less. I would rather know what the author is trying to say then have to fight to understand it. And when I do fight to understand it, I am almost always wrong. Maybe by the end of the unit I will be able to understand them more and appreciate the beauty, but until then I will continue to bash them. (for the most part) (except the cool ones)

On a happier note, in less than 24 hours I will be in Mexico lying on the beach. It is scary to think that this is my senior spring break. I still don’t feel that old.  

WKU

On Friday I went to WKU (my future school) to schedule my classes and interview for a scholarship. It took scheduling my classes for it to finally hit me that I am going to college extremely soon. It was a very overwhelming and also very exciting moment. I scheduled Thursday and as if that wasn’t stressful enough, my interview was the next day. I have only been interviewed once and I don’t really count it as an interview because I was 16 and it was a job interview, which was very laid back. Before my interview we had a recognition lunch and heard a lot of speakers, which was all very good. Then we had to write an essay… I though that, because I have written so many in this class, that maybe I would be okay, but I wasn’t. It was a very easy prompt and the passage we read was very straight forward but for some reason I could not get my thoughts across without going in circles. I would also get stuck on a word that I didn’t know how to spell and start freaking out. So, that whole experience stressed me out and then I had to go be interviewed. It was surprisingly really laid back and they were all really nice and we joked around about UK basketball for the first 10 min. I think that I did pretty well with that part, so hopefully the essay wasn’t as bad as I thought. I guess we will find out in a week if I was right…

Poetry

Poetry means something different to anyone you ask. Personally to mean it means torture, but that could just be me. I think that it means such different things to people because everyone writes it for different reasons. Books you are written to tell a story usually, but poems can be more complicated than that. There is also much more emotion behind them. The quote that makes the most sense to me is “Poetry is a kind of ingenious nonsense,” I think this applies to all kinds of poetry but I also think that sometimes it is too hard to find the genius behind it. That might be a reason that I hate poetry, because I’m lazy and don’t like looking deep into things, especially if they don’t interest me. The quote, “Poetry is the record of the best and happiest moments of the happiest and best minds” I disagree with completely. Of course, some poetry is but definitely not all. In fact, I think that the majority of it is not happy. A lot of the better poems are dark and twisted. These are also the poems that I enjoy more. I don’t like the ones that are just pointing out how beautiful something is…they’re pointless.

The Color Purple

Thanks to my second outside reading book I am now a pro at reading things that make me feel extremely uncomfortable. With the topic of child abuse I was bound to come across things that made me feel uneasy, but The Color Purple goes way beyond uneasy. I have always been able handle uncomfortable but I have never across a book that is so blunt about it. There is absolutely no beating around the bush; whatever is happening is straight but said. Also, it started on the very first page of the book so right when I started I knew it was going to be an interesting journey through the rest of the book. She also writes very uneducated and exactly how the characters should sound. I kind of like this aspect of it thought, it makes it fun to read. Aside from being sexually uncomfortable, it is also heart breaking. The main character has been impregnated by her father twice. The idea of being raped is already a tough subject but when you bring in incest it gets so much worse. I don’t know how people in real life live through things like this. I wish I could save everyone that has ever experienced anything like this.